So. Y'know. When I had questions about products or how to fix something, I never thought of calling a department store. Honestly, it surprises me how many phone calls I get on a daily basis for inquiries about the best Tupperware or how to patch a hole in the drywall using only dryer sheets.
Unfortunately, since I am a female and am obviously waiting for some complete stranger to waltz in and scuzz up my life, I get phone calls like this...
Customer: Hey! Could you help me out? Your automated phone system is
terrible! You need to fix it! I used to push zero so I could talk to a
pretty young girl and now it's all numbers!
Me: Sir, I'll get right on that the next time corporate asks me to program the phones.
Him: You're with corporate??
Me: ...no, I'm in the store. But corporate makes all our computer program-y decisions.
Him: Oh. *laughs* Well, I'm glad you'll help me. You sound like a
pretty young girl. Maybe I should take you out for a nice dinner, some
champagne, nice times by the fireplace... What's
your name, sweetie?
Me: ...did you have a question I could help you with, sir?
Him: Oh, nevermind. I'll just record your voice! I'll find you,
honey, don't worry. NOW! What's your longest decking screw?
Me: Regular decking screw? Four inches.
Him: Oh, that ain't long enough for you. I'll come in later tonight. See you soon!
I. Am. So. Charmed.
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