Yeah, I realize I haven't had regular access to a television since I was nineteen years old and I'm no longer all hip with television jive or whatever. I did have access to a television this weekend and due to the circumstances of I couldn't figure out how to change the channel because remote controls are a lot more complicated than they were ten years ago, I was stuck watching your
network for three hours.
Now, I'm not upset that I wasted a perfectly good Sunday evening falling asleep to "Bridezillas". Reality television is to reality like politics are to a thoughtful discussion. It's just a cheap way for your viewer to raise their self-esteem by laughing at trashy people. I get it. I'm in on the joke, okay?
Your commercials bother me.
See, you market yourself as a network for women and concerning issues women may care about. I know it's a shock, but I am a woman. It has been confirmed by like, science and stuff. I can guarantee you that I have more pressing "issues" in my life besides, "I'm fat!" and "My hair isn't glossy!"
Y'know, things like pay inequality, reproductive health issues, glass ceilings in the workforce, no non-slutty heroines, no female Doctor, unrealistic weight expectations, terrible shoes...somehow, I don't think a show about spoiled white girls on their wedding day sponsored by laxative smoothies is quite what the suffragettes had in mind.
I've got some ideas! I really do! Like, for the geek crowd, we could shoot Seven of Nine out the photon torpedo tube and reboot Voyager into something that doesn't suck. Ummmm, instead of celebrity boxing, pit our female heroines against their literary betters. Jane Eyre versus Lara Croft. Rose Sayer versus Wonder Woman. I don't know. And maybe instead of every other commercial telling me how goddamn fat I am, have a company that sells something useful sponsor your shows. Like car insurance! I use car insurance! I need car insurance! Sell me car insurance!
I realize that this is moot because in the end, as far as women's programming is concerned, we're only going to get the T&A because that's what sells. After all, we're just GIRLS and our hair isn't going to get glossy by itself, gosh nabbit.
But hey, thanks We, for reminding me that even though no television makes it somewhat tricky to watch my "Castle" episodes...the sacrifice is worth it.
Bite me, television. Bite me.
Sincerely,
She who will only watch Star Trek and Jon Pertwee episodes of Doctor Who like, ever now.
Now, I'm not upset that I wasted a perfectly good Sunday evening falling asleep to "Bridezillas". Reality television is to reality like politics are to a thoughtful discussion. It's just a cheap way for your viewer to raise their self-esteem by laughing at trashy people. I get it. I'm in on the joke, okay?
Your commercials bother me.
See, you market yourself as a network for women and concerning issues women may care about. I know it's a shock, but I am a woman. It has been confirmed by like, science and stuff. I can guarantee you that I have more pressing "issues" in my life besides, "I'm fat!" and "My hair isn't glossy!"
Y'know, things like pay inequality, reproductive health issues, glass ceilings in the workforce, no non-slutty heroines, no female Doctor, unrealistic weight expectations, terrible shoes...somehow, I don't think a show about spoiled white girls on their wedding day sponsored by laxative smoothies is quite what the suffragettes had in mind.
I've got some ideas! I really do! Like, for the geek crowd, we could shoot Seven of Nine out the photon torpedo tube and reboot Voyager into something that doesn't suck. Ummmm, instead of celebrity boxing, pit our female heroines against their literary betters. Jane Eyre versus Lara Croft. Rose Sayer versus Wonder Woman. I don't know. And maybe instead of every other commercial telling me how goddamn fat I am, have a company that sells something useful sponsor your shows. Like car insurance! I use car insurance! I need car insurance! Sell me car insurance!
I realize that this is moot because in the end, as far as women's programming is concerned, we're only going to get the T&A because that's what sells. After all, we're just GIRLS and our hair isn't going to get glossy by itself, gosh nabbit.
But hey, thanks We, for reminding me that even though no television makes it somewhat tricky to watch my "Castle" episodes...the sacrifice is worth it.
Bite me, television. Bite me.
Sincerely,
She who will only watch Star Trek and Jon Pertwee episodes of Doctor Who like, ever now.
